By: Natalie Couture— Staff Writer (CSU Intern), The Drive Student Blog
At one time, if anyone asked me if I was planning on moving back to my hometown, I would’ve laughed and said “there’s absolutely no way.” Well, then circumstances changed.
Nicole Policarpio writes, “I always envied my western friends who had to leave their homes when they turned eighteen. They were forced to live on their own, and even though it was hard for them, they matured faster than everyone else.” The Ascent
Well, that was me.
I moved away from my small midwestern hometown (in one of those states that people really never remember because… they’re not really very important) a month after my 18th birthday, into the sprawling metropolis of Chicago– to its South Side, nonetheless. I remember my family warning me before I left: “Make sure you always have your guard up. People there aren’t as nice as they are up here.” They probably didn’t realize that I already knew that “North Dakota Nice” wasn’t actually nice at all, rather a knowledge of when to hold one’s tongue, but nevertheless, I left and watched out for myself.
I did mature faster when I left home… I refused to let myself down.
And wow– leaving that hometown was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.
I believe I did mature faster when I left home, not because I wasn’t mature before, but because I refused to let myself down. I told myself I wanted to leave that small city where I was born and raised, where it only took me 15 minutes to get across town, and I did. And I loved it. And if you would’ve asked me even a year ago today if I would’ve thought about leaving that city, I still probably would have told you “no.” At the very least, I would have said “not right now.”
Coronavirus took (most of) America by surprise in February/March of 2020, and its effects spread far and wide by April of that year. In Chicago, it meant that my student teaching experience was cut short, and I was teaching students asynchronously and through a computer screen for the remainder of the semester. I was confined to my 15th-floor apartment, in a building that athletes at my University frequently commuted from. There was nowhere to go; reality changed in the blink of an eye, and by May, things didn’t seem to be changing.
I decided to spend some time back in my hometown for a few reasons. First, there was a graduation in the family. Second, I missed my sister, and third, I wanted a sense of normalcy. Back in my hometown, life was business as usual. There were few, if any, cases of COVID at the time of my arrival, and people begrudgingly wore masks if they were required to. The sense of normalcy remained for months — until my little town of Minot, North Dakota became, as Atul Gawande called it in his article for The New Yorker, “The Worst-Hit County in the Worst-Hit State in the Worst-Hit Country.” The New Yorker
I worried that I was going to lose all that I had learned in Chicago if I came back to my conservative hometown. But instead, I realized what an incredible opportunity it was to move back- one filled with possibilities that might even alter my own ideas about “what comes next.”
My time in my hometown that summer was unforeseen. I came back thinking I’d stay for a couple of weeks, and so many things snowballed that I decided to stay a month, and then two. I started to realize, by mid-summer, that my life in Chicago was starting to fade. I knew I’d need to find a new apartment, but my friends weren’t looking to move. I knew I’d need to find a teaching job, but I had only gotten a couple of calls. I took the time to ask myself “what am I going to do?” and I thought about my concerns.
I wanted to know if moving back would mean that I was a failure or an opportunist. In the case of COVID, I resorted to understanding that I was making the best decision for myself at the time.
I worried that I was going to lose all that I had learned in Chicago if I came back to my conservative hometown. But instead, I realized what an incredible opportunity it was to move back- one filled with possibilities that might even alter my own ideas about “what comes next.”
In Chicago, I learned how to be a teacher: one that thinks of her students as individuals with their own experiences, thoughts, and feelings that informed their schoolwork and personalities. I learned that my inherent biases and inherent privilege would impact, drastically, the way that I teach if I do not take the time to continuously grow as an educator who believes in social justice. I got so lucky when I found a place to work, in my hometown, that encouraged me to use those skillsets to help better educational systems in my home state. I moved back to North Dakota in August, and I’ve been here since.
My time spent in Minot has allowed me to consider my experiences through a new perspective. I think of how much I’ve grown, both personally and professionally, since I left this place when I was 18 years old. I needed to be somewhere else– I needed to see something different. But now I have tools in my box that can help me repair some of those broken things I referenced often in my college career out of state. I have a chance to make a difference in the places where I recalled change really being needed.
So, here I am, writing from my living room in my hometown of Minot, North Dakota, wondering what comes next. Where do I go from here, from this place that I never thought I’d be again? Do I stay? Do I go?
All I know is that I will continue to grow, regardless of where I’m planted. And, just maybe, being back where my life began isn’t such a bad thing after all.
Dinner. Clean. Grad school, kids, other obligations – you pick. Settle down. Shower.
Repeat.
That’s the high-level overview schedule. What things used to look like, maybe, if there’s no kids to take care of, only oneself to worry about, and no other outside obligations like extracurriculars or going to the gym or hanging out with girlfriends or the guys.
And work is right there at the center.
Then? Boom. Pandemic.
It’s no wonder that America is in a mental health crisis. It’s a bit of a surprise that fewer people talked about this pre-Pandemic, but it’s less of a surprise now that it’s all people can talk about. Mental health is an unavoidable conversation. According to Paul Gionfriddo, “As the pandemic relentlessly persists, we are seeing the highest levels of anxiety and depression reported since the pandemic hit the U.S.” And yet, the levels weren’t low before. They’re just higher now. Mental Health America
“For those who use their ever-moving life and constant obligations to avoid thinking about their own mental health struggles, being at home… leaves no room for escape.”
Isolation can bring out some of the worst in people. For many, their personal experiences show this in undeniable ways. However, being alone isn’t always the issue – for some, it might be being alone with stress that is the worst part of it all.
America, for the most part, stopped moving in March of 2020, but the obligations of everyday life didn’t slow down with everything else. Oh, you typically went to work in an office building? Congratulations, your kitchen table is your desk now. Oh, your children went to school or daycare every day? Congratulations, they’re at home with you now. Oh, you attended classes in-person? Congratulations, you’ll be talking to your professors through a computer screen for the rest of the semester. Some are thankful that despite the Pandemic, life kept moving, even at home. But for those who use their ever-moving life and constant obligations to avoid thinking about their own mental health struggles, being at home – sometimes alone, other times with others – leaves no room for escape, and none of those other stressors go away.
Working from home, especially, can be somewhat of a dangerous environment for those who thrive on doing good work exactly when it’s needed, or rather, requested. When there’s upcoming projects to get done, and there’s more to come after those are due, the pressures to perform and continue to be productive – outside of ordinary work hours – are huge. So what happens when the other pressures of life, and the pressure to perform at work, become overwhelming, and the levels of productivity start to plummet due to stress?
Well, communication has to be key, and along with that, honesty is so important. There is not one person on this planet who could be able to say that the Pandemic has not altered their life, and America is moving toward a place where saying that it’s been a bad mental health day, week, month, or even more is a part of communication that cannot be left out.
Boundaries are important, but for those who struggle setting those boundaries, who struggle shutting off the phone, the emails, and the ever-growing lists of tasks, those days when it’s hard to get up in the morning or hard to even enjoy spending time with loved ones due to stress are a good indicator that it’s time for a break.
Ashira Prossack writes, “at its core, taking a vacation is simply taking time off away from and disconnected from work. It requires nothing more than turning off your phone and laptop and not doing any work.” That doesn’t sound too hard, right? But the key to taking a break, or a vacation, or whatever one wants to call it, is that in order for the break to be productive, the stresses of missing work need to not exist. Forbes
So, when it’s time to take a break, be honest. If one’s place of work has a low tolerance policy for those who struggle with mental health, submit vacation time and call it good. But chances are, if one is valued by their workplace, then their honesty will be valued, they will be appreciated for what they do already, and work will be happy to welcome them back when it’s time to do that.
Feeling overwhelmed is a sign that the balances in life are no longer being maintained. It’s an indication that the time has come for a reset, a pause, or just a break. The pressures of life will always continue to impact daily living, but there comes a time when saying “no, I have to take some time for myself” is completely warranted, appropriate, and necessary. For those who are dedicated to their workplaces, admitting these feelings of burnout can be difficult, but if the work is truly valued, then supervisors understand that those who create and do the work deserve a break. So, be honest, and take that vacation time to get a little reset.
by Aliya Granger- Staff Writer (CSU Intern), The Drive Student Blog
Why y’all ain’t let us free? Why y’all think we free and we ain’t free? Why y’all crack that whip ‘fore cracking them knuckles to fight a fair fight? Why y’all ain’t fightin’ no fair fight? Why y’all stealin’ all our stuff? Why we can’t have our stuff?
Why y’all drag us out here and don’t even want us to stay? Why we gotta stay? Why y’all tellin, us to leave like we got somewhere to go? Why y’all don’t go back to England tellin’ us to go back to Africa? Why we gotta be the bad guys? Why y’all ain’t the bad guys?
Why y’all make us out to be poor? Why y’all po’ folk better than us? Why y’all think we dirty? Why y’all trailer parks ain’t dirty? Why y’all hate us so much? Why y’all hate that we on this earth?
Why y’all wanna be us so bad? Why y’all want locs knowin’ y’all can’t never wash yo’ hair with em?  Why y’all invent racism? Why y’all think we can be somethin’ we ain’t create?
Why y’all get red all the time? Why y’all ain’t the colored ones? Why y’all make Green Lantern white? Why y’all don’t like Black Panther bein’ Black and he from Africa? Why y’all say Egypt ain’t African? Why y’all say Egypt ain’t African like we ain’t starin at the same maps you lookin at?
Why y’all hate us SO much?!
Why y’all hate everybody but especially hate us? Why y’all let Rachel Dolezal be black? Why y’all ain’t let us be Black? Why y’all keep thinkin’ these questions are for y’all? Why y’all think everything is y’alls?
Why y’all ain’t let us free? Why y’all think we free and we ain’t free?
I wish y’all Rednecks would try to answer all these nigga questions.
by Aliyah Granger–Staff Writer (CSU Intern), The Drive Student Blog
#YouToo
     First, look them up and down. Examine their appearance. Check for anything odd or unusual. Check for any abnormally long nails. Check for any bitten nails. Check for any bitten cuticles. Do they have a mustache? What kind of mustache? Is it a handlebar mustache? Do they have a goatee as well? Do the mustache and goatee connect? Check their sideburns. Inspect their sideburns. Are their sideburns full or are they thin? Do they connect to the mustache and goatee? Do they have an excess of razor bumps? Do they have a full beard or a struggle beard? Check for grey hair. Always check for grey hair. Look at their eyes. Look deeply into their eyes and find out how deeply you can look into their soul from the glass. Study their eyes to see if they’re too glossy or too dry or just glossy enough. What color are their eyes? Brown eyes always appear more trustworthy. If they have blue eyes, they’re liars. Are their eyelashes long? Long eyelashes will trip you up every time. Do they wear glasses? Plastic-rimmed or metal? Metal rims are always deceiving. Thick plastic rims try to hide something. Are their eyebrows bushy or thin? Do they connect? Check their hair. Is their hair long? Is it curly? Is it straight? Is it receding? Receding hairlines are creepy but can be misleading. Listen to their voice? Is their voice deep or high-pitched? A high pitched voice might seem innocent, but it can be deceiving.      Then, examine their demeanor. Pay close attention to what makes them tick. Focus on what gets them angry quickly. Do they get angry in traffic? That’s normal. Everyone gets angry in traffic. It’s how angry they get that makes all the difference, so you have to gauge it. Do they leave good tips for waiters and waitresses? If you can’t go to dinner with them to see for yourself, ask them — if they answer too quickly, they’re lying, but if they take too long to answer they’re lying. Evaluate how they treat their mom. Do they respect her or do they honor her — because there is a difference. Do they ever raise their voice at her? If they do, run. Do they have siblings? Do they have kids? Do they speak in baby talk when engaging with toddlers and younger or do they speak normally? Have you ever seen them interact with kids? They may never interact with kids. Pay attention to that too. Do they love cats or do they love dogs? If they love dogs, they’re probably more loving. If they love cats, they’re probably a loner. If they love both, they’re indecisive.      Finally, forget all of this. Forget what you thought. Forget what you examined. Forget what a liar looks like. Forget their hair. Forget their clothes. Forget if they love kids. Forget their voice. Forget if they love dogs. Forget if they’re nice to their mom. Forget their razor bumps. Forget their nails. Forget their metal-rimmed glasses. Forget their plastic-rimmed glasses. Forget their anger in traffic, because everyone gets angry in traffic — that’s normal. You won’t really forget. You’ll always remember. You’ll remember EVERYTHING. Because they’ll fit some, they’ll fit none, or they’ll fit all of the characteristics. Try to forget though because they — society — this man-run world — will still think that you… With your brown hair. With your black hair. With your blonde hair. With your pink hair. With your purple hair. With your brown eyes. With your blue eyes. With your green eyes. With your maxi dress. With your mini skirt. With your sweatpants. With your hoodie. With your PJs. With your glasses. With your contacts. With your makeup. With your naked face. With your open legs. With your closed legs. With your heels. With your gym shoes. With your flip flops. With your bare feet. At 38. At 25. At 21. At 18. At 6. They’ll still all think that you asked for it.
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